What makes you fall in love with God?

For me it’s looking at how contrasting his love is from the love we experience on earth. Earthly love is often constrained by conditions. It is limited and finite. The phrase “falling out of love” is an all too common reality in this day and age.

But the love of God is so different in nature. It is deep and un-ending. It is unconditional. It is a love that I will never be able to fully get my mind around because there is no equivalent to it. But I don’t think that not fulling understanding the love of God is limited to just me. It is a journey we are all on and the further with God we walk the more He reveals his love to us.

I grew up thinking that God was upset with me because I was constantly messing up. The church that I was a part of stressed how shameful it was to be a “sinner” and how I should be so thankful that God had saved a sinful wretch like me. God felt like a distant angry judge who hated me the more I made mistakes. I remember one day after doing something wrong and waiting for my dad’s punishment going in my room crying and screaming at myself, “You’re so stupid Leni! Why can’t you do anything right? You do the same things over and over again and you know it’s wrong. Why can’t you just stop!” It was a common thought. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t not do it.

Often times with a look of exasperation on his face my dad would tell me how easy it is to obey God. “You just do it!” He would tell me. But I couldn’t. Try though I might, I always seemed to go right back to sinning. And the more I sinned the more I thought God despised me.

It wasn’t until, years later, I came to realize that the God of judgment who I’d grew up hiding from was just the opposite. In Song of Songs he says this of me…

“For you reach into my heart. With one flash of your eyes I am undone by you love, my beloved, my equal, my bride. You leave me breathless – I am overcome by merely a glance from your worshiping eyes, for you have stolen my heart. I am held hostage by your love and by the graces of righteousness shining upon you. How satisfying to me, my equal, my bride.” (Song of Songs 4:9-10a TPT)

The God of the universe who created everything I can see and all that I can’t is undone when I look at him! I leave Him breathless?! I am his equal… I have righteousness shining on me? This floors me. The gods of every other religion never love unconditionally. They do not engage as an equal with their creation but my God does! The world does not even do this. So often we see division of “classes” (wealthy vs. poor or middle class, black vs. white, old vs. young, ect.) Division everywhere. But the one being who has every right to hold himself over me; to lord over me binds himself to me as an equal and loves me fully though he knows me fully. My past can never scare him out of the love he has for me. There are no skeletons in my closet that could ever make him run away from me. He will never stop loving me… EVER!

The more I understand the love of God the more I fall head over heals in love with him. And it is the beginning of a whole new world which we’ll be exploring in the upcoming weeks. Stay tuned…

~ Leni